The Do’s and Don’ts of retaining a lawyer

Do pay for a consultation meeting – most lawyers offer a one hour consultation for a fee. These are so useful as they give you an hour of the lawyer’s time (usually at a reduced rate) where you can see them in action. You should use this time as a “test run” … are they explaining things in a way that makes sense to you? Do they seem knowledgeable in this subject? Do you think that you would work well with them? The wonderful thing about these meetings is that you haven’t retained the lawyer for your file, so if it is a bust … move on to the next consultation.

Do prepare for the meeting with questions and bring all paperwork – make sure to maximize the time you have with the lawyer by bringing all documents with you so that they can see where the file currently stands. Also, prepare questions that you need answered, and don’t be afraid to ask them. What usually happens in these consultations is that the lawyer gives you a run down of what to expect and then asks you for any documents or if you have any questions, so take advantage of the time.

Don’t use your lawyer as a counsellor – this one is harder than you would think, especially in family law. You will be working closely with this person and sharing a lot of personal information. It is only natural to turn to your lawyer for guidance on personal issues that come up during the process. Lawyers are rarely qualified as counsellors so, while they have a lot of experience in legal matters, they are very expensive alternatives to counselling services.

Do hire other support people like a counsellor – I used to tell my clients that it was my responsibility to do the lawyer stuff for them however it was their responsibility to make sure that they had the supports in place to help them when emotions got high. This is a hugely emotional time – the end of relationship and the end of your hopes and dreams … if ever there was a time to hire someone qualified to help you work through emotions – it is now. Also … qualified counsellors are usually cheaper than a lawyer’s hourly rate, so in the long run a far more cost effective decision!

Do hire a lawyer who you feel you could work well with – while it you want to automatically hire the lawyer that your friend recommended as being “absolutely amazing”, make sure that you can work with them. This is where the consultation comes in handy – do they have similar values? Do you agree with how they are planning to approach your file? Do you feel like they heard you and spoke to you in a way that you understood? You will be working with this person for a while and they will be dealing with a really big part of your life. You need to feel comfortable with this person, and only you will know who is right for you.

Don’t immediately hire a “shark” to stick it to your ex – In all honesty, this is rarely the best long term decision. For example, if you have kids and it is important to you that you and your ex get along after this for the children, be sure to hire a lawyer who prioritizes this (and litigation is usually not the way to do this). Lawyers who will go straight to court have their place and sometimes that is the only way to protect your interests, however there are consequences to this type of approach. Again, use the consultation to find out what the lawyer’s approach is and if that approach will help you achieve your goals.

Don’t listen to other people – this is your life. People will be well meaning and will be very happy to share their opinions over a glass of wine … however, the decision around who you hire and why must be yours alone. Only you know what you need to move forward and, with the right lawyer, you will get through this difficult time.